why need people if your tears can be dried by the spring breeze...

...other than the fact we were created to need people...

opening my window and seeing the green grass through the intricate design of the bare branches of the tree right outside my window is wonderful...
i hear the birds...
i love watching birds, if i have a garden it definitely needs a bird feeder...
haha, on my way to class this morning three birds were all in a ruckus, when two finally settled down the third just flew around and around the branch they were in bickering and complaining. made me laugh...
at home in the winter i would sit in the window watching the birds hop about, making track in the snow while pecking at the bird seed i set out...
ha, the cats would watch aswell.

today in new testament it was mentioned how God is close to those who are weak, downcast, depressed, broken, just messy individuals.
well Lord, you are indeed.
but Lord, it's just like fall... beautiful bright colors as it feels that everything is dying, things turn gray... winter... but then you have spring, green grass, feeling alive, the stasis of summer, then fall again... the brokenness, the giving in of fall, the downcast feeling, seeing the world from so far down no matter the season yet rising and falling with the wind... it really is beautiful, and i'm grateful.
i don't remember all i had to say on the subject...
chalk it up to loss of fleeting thoughts and then a brain scramble when the prof prayed aloud 'see yourself the way God sees you' just like what the guy i dated said he wanted to help me do.
ah well.

birds singing...
overcast skies make the green seem so much more vivid...

hmm, a lot of things i say can have multiple meanings... i halfway mean them in multiple ways...

random:
it's so hard to be fully reveling in and enjoying silence and your surroundings with other people around...
i can't even do it if there's a person in eyesight of me...
small wonder it was hard for me to stand for half an hour in the lobby with windows and people passing... it was hard enough to do that with just him. and then just recognizing and constantly tlaking about the problem shifted me away from it all...
but i'm forgetting that.

i can't hear any birds right now...