Ecclesiasties 4:9-10
"Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their eforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up."

okay, alright, fine, God, I get it.
but i'm still so darn used to being alone.
i fall with no one there Lord...
i'm used to it.
yes, You are there.
but i doubt that's the meaning here.
and not what You are telling me.
Lord, i do need to learn to lean on other people.
i guess?
heh. yeah.
thank You for allowing me to survive all those years without 'another to lift' me up.
and thank You that now i do have friends that may do that.
but i'm still used to being alone.
i've only had 18 or so years of falling alone, not like it's all i've known or anything...
one last thing:
thank You that it's been a while since i've had a hard day.
i'm improving, aren't i? :)
today just ended in stress. please let me relax...

i fail, therefore i am (alive)

hello.
i am human.
i try to be invincible but fail.
i strive to attain perfection.
i never attain perfection.
i get frustrated with myself too easily.
i put myself down.
i know i shouldn't.
i know i may not be right.
i do it anyway.
i rarely think that i do things right.
i feel disillusioned.
i grasp to understand things.
i find the harder i grasp the more elusive the understanding is.
i find the more i try to understand myself the more i don't understand.
i find that my own turmoil is best ignored and downplayed.
i find myself thinking that everyone else is better.
i find myself apologizing for my very presence.
i find myself going somewhere without knowing the destination.
i am growing.
i am improving.
i am human,
and i find myself thinking that this is true for everyone...
that if these do not apply to you,
then you are not human.
or at the very least...
not alive.