Dude...
Know when you have been brushed off.
Good luck in life.
Goodbye.

Indecision.

It's amazing how fall can settle your mind and create clarity...
Perhaps the scorched summer went to my head with restlessness.
Worst drought my 54 year old mother can remember at least.
Even the trees began to die off, not to mention the grass and flowers.
Burn bans prevented me from my wonderful camp fires and rain simply didn't happen.

Small wonder I felt so ridiculously stuck.

Or do I still?

There's a part of me that, however stupid it may sound, wishes I had taken the random advice of my HS theater teacher and a theater friend. As in, keep acting. That I have done. It's the second part. Make it your career.

Oh.

I'd only been doing theater for two years at the time so I didn't consider myself learned or good enough to major in it.

...then again, how many of my favorite actors randomly did a play while an upper classman in high school, learned they loved it, and went on to study acting?

Dangit Lindsay, should have thought of that!
Why didn't you think of that?

At anyrate, as graphic design is not what I want to do with my life, it's just something to do while I figure out what I want to do...

*sigh*

Then there was the director we worked with last spring. She wanted me to keep acting, she saw something in me and wanted me to build on it. Acting lessons. Acting classes. Anything.

I so desperately want to.

Guess I should have gone to LA with that HS theater friend and gone to ADA? Or some school where I'd learn the wonderful craft of acting?

I dunno.

Still don't know.

Working at camp makes me want to live in the country.

the cracking grass and sweltering sun led me to want to take my graphic design and move to LA or NYC where I could work in addition to learn more and slowly get work in the area of theater or small film jobs.

Then fall came. Fall theater productions in the KC area. And all the sudden I'm once more contented to stay in community theater and work in graphic design. KC is nice indeed.

...and still want to live in the country. Can't do steady community theater with that. Hmm.

...I will have to give that up, won't I...

Oh hey, I have play practice at 5!
I knew that.

I think, quite simply, that in acting, you have the ability I have sought greatly in my scattered brain.

The ability to be everything.

I'm going to want to move somewhere and try this aren't I.

Well, at least I will have a graphic design degree to hold down a solid job.
...if you can have a solid job and do this.