you wish you could dream but forgot to somehow...

i'm going to miss playing jazz with a full choir three feet behind me.
there's what, 70 people in this gospel choir?
and great scot, when we play 'in the mood' the entire crowd goes wild, the choir goes crazy even though they're not singing..
i'm really beginning to feel like a bassist; i'm doing well and am familiar enough with the songs to catch myself and not make mistakes too noticeable, i take my mistakes with grace and do not crash and burn to such that i'm hiding behind my two music stands... i embellish without thinking of it, my fret range is increasing and my dexerity is improving...
:)


took a boat tour of a lake today...
sitting on top where there were not any people was nice, peaceful...
haha, dancing like crazy and making the captain smile!
just looking over the edge at the water, dark lake water, but the blue sky and white clouds reflected in it... the waves were mesmerizing... 


the countryside here is so beautiful it's ridiculous... so wonderful...
can i move here?
the food is better aswell... however i've eaten so much that i haven't been hungry in the least bit for the past week...


i love this country, the scenery, the people, the way of life... i know that i was kind of jealous of the honor students from my university that came here to study for a week and a half; yet i have had three weeks of living with the people, eating as they do, talking with them, laughing with them, learning which way is up in this part of the world... playing music and improving my bass skills while serving others through jazz... 
ha, had i taken the full ride scholarship to play bass at that other college i never would have had this opportunity...
i also wouldn't have this knife in my back, but it seems that every upside has its respective casualties.


random:
well i hope what's his face enjoys actually knowing some of what i think.
no more 'mystery' huh?
okay, to clarify, cynicism is saying that he assumes this is all i think and he assumes he knows all.
haha, not even the half of it...
you know if he went back why did he really break up with her in the first place?
i'll remain 'immature' and have poor 'communication' skills. 
i'll remain changing, thinking, unsure, wondering, varying yet constant, i shall be me.
...whatever that means...
i'm not sure, yet i've come to quite like it...
even if i stray from that from time to time, yet no one is perfect indeed...
and lately its so hard to be myself on paper, hmm...