fresh air and build a bear

voice juries went well...
i think that they were both proud of me, haha, my contralto friend said that i was going in there to sing for two of the people that loved me moved in the world.
they kinda teared up...
suppose them both kind of knowing me, the songs i sang were perfect...
perfect indeed.
i think that my teacher and the head of the department were both proud of me... made me feel good... kind of reminded me of when my drama teacher in high school told me of all the people coming to him after a performance and telling him that i should be a 'professional'


*random
today as i cleaned my desk and organized everything into three tubs to send home tomorrow, i realized that i really did get messed up as soon as i started dating the kid. no more notes to myself with post-its... i never sat at my desk... and i was just so weary of life that i seldom cleaned my part of the room.
mainly it was the lack of post-its that i noticed... certainly i've scrawled a few things but verses, thoughts, quotes, songs, and reminders didn't litter my space...


on another random tangent, the amount of people that think i need another guy is staggering.
i do not need one, but hey God, can the next one like hockey aswell? and shop at pacsun or eddie bauer and maybe tractor supply?
conversed i say, conversed. 
and spending hours in barnes and noble is a must.


i should have treated myself to build a bear today...
then ordered a St. Louis Blues uniform for it!
but i had already spent $50 on reef flip-flops... they'll last forever but that pained me... yet better than spending $20 and wearing them out fast... and i bought two pairs of shorts on sale... found another pair of slacks for germany... bought some logic and lateral thinking puzzles for the trip... 
*sigh*
my dream st. louis blues build a bear will have to wait.
i think i should take my cow winder to germany...


earlier today 'hammers and strings' seemed to fit...


earlier that that 'vienna' fit...
'there's really no way to reach me...'


but there is.
at the moment i just want to take a walk.
outside, in the fresh air that breathes life...


random:
my basketball friend said that she knows nothing about his current girlfriend, but that she's not as good or as wonderful of a person as i am...
i said she doesn't know her, she can't say...
she cut me off and said 'no, lindsay, no she isn't, it's not possible. it's not possible.'
...i hope i can live up to her belief in me... 




i am sorry to any that read this for the lack of real thought.
you see at the end of the day now i just have to...
*sigh*
clear my head i suppose...


'break myself' by something corporate has also been running through my head...
all day.




-EDIT-


it feels wonderful outside...
the clouds are lit up yet the dark sky and the stars are piercing through...


i felt life...


i just stood there...


watching the distant lightening...


arms out and taking in the breeze...


the cool grass felt wonderful under my feet...


i wish i could have stayed longer...


i should have...