listening to 'constellations' in a completely quiet dorm with in-ear headphones is...
relaxing.
long two days...
driving to poplar bluff yesterday was wonderful... loved the hills, trees, all the random green fields in small valleys... and in the afternoon the tall trees casting such shadows on the ground it was easy to get lost in the landscape... what wasn't easy was staying awake to watch the hills go by when my daydreams carried my tired mind away with the spring breeze.
a line from a song i was listening to said 'You fill my soul with the light of each new day...'
so true...
i just can't feel quite yet...
i did stay awake as we watched hte movie 'tangled' on the bus... love that movie, very well put together indeed.
random thought yesterday:
i've mentioned that going out with that guy was the first time i had really trusted people...
but then i thought of the scope of that...
it was the first time i had really trusted humanity with myself...
as a whole...
human nature and everything...
and...
i was just proven right.
but there's this thing about humanity i need to remember.
it's not perfect.
random:
with all of the pain he caused it seems like my brain is blocking out really realizing that i was ever even in a relationship.
kind of weird...
i like it.
at anyrate, jazz was good for me...
i kind went off to the races yesterday with tempo however, i haven't really ever had much issue keeping a solid tempo... that was one of the qualities sir really liked about me when i auditioned last spring...
random:
yesterday i weighed myself, 120lbs.
...
i haven't weighed that much since 7th grade.
and that's with extra 'water' weight since it's that time of the month (again! so soon? bah.)
sure whoever you are reading this needed to know that :-D
but really... losing 20lbs since coming to college...
it's all muscle i think...
i miss running, working out in a weight room...
i don't really care what size i am, i still haven't lost volume, really i'd at least like to be able to fit into my favorite pair of board shorts...
random:
"Oh, i'm a wandering soul, i'm still walking the line that leads me home... alone. all i know, i still got mountains to climb on my own, on my own..."
the redbuds in bloom amidst the greening trees was wonderful today...
walking back from the fine arts hall i had to stop and smell the trees...
i did throw that bradford pear twig out...
but i picked some wonderful smelling flowers to put in the vase in its' stead...
would have picked a tulip...
but i feel bad taking the bulb's only flower...
"life is so much better when you're floating in the air..."
and then of course more jack's mannequin...
"I feel alright, so please don't get me rescued... "
so tired...
'the hill's still left to climb it's just so high and i'm so tired... come on look me in my bloodshot eyes...'
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