told a friend as we were outside that the clouds looked so real, as if they were the only things that were truly there and real...
she said she doesn't really think poetically...
that wasn't really poetic, could be i suppose.
desperately wish i could be outside...
yet i'll be doing nothing at directing practice for the next three hours then working with my group for a presentation for two hours after...
in my choir auditions the director was very impressed with the progress i have made, great improvement and he's very happy with how i've grown...
he's still going to have to talk to my vocal instructor...
and do a lot of thinking...
i'm just a confusing person as far as voice is concerned.
made me quite happy that he thought so much of me, and he said that there are a two things for sure, i need to keep singing and i need to keep having voice lessons. this was said as 'you need to sing. you also need to learn and work.' kind of way.
my contralto friend has began saying 'when you're a music major' to me.
heh...
umm...
perhaps one day.
actually, yesterday sitting at my computer doing homework i really thought 'do i want to do this for the rest of my life? and i really that good at this?'
but what would i do with a music major?
random:
"For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
it is not a good idea to judge others, but i seem judge myself so heavily that i just accidentally put that mold on others at times. rather, the measure you judge yourself is how you will judge others. in my case leastways... but shouldn't it be that way anyhow?
not that you are to judge others, but if you expect something of another you need to expect it of yourself aswell.
suppose i should replace 'judge' with 'expect'
i'm sorry that my pet peeves include bad breath and that i dislike excessive cussing, vulgar, or just unclean language, i can't stand it when people brag on themselves, can't stand arrogance, when people assume and don't investigate your meaning, when people think that they're better than you... any of that!
call me proper or a perfectionist, but that's just the way i am.
is anything (save the breath thing which doesn't really matter) a good thing to do anyway?
i also have a ridiculous ingrained sense to not inconvenience anyone...
suppose however that while i may see the 'speck' in another's eye (i really don't think about it though... people are not held to my standard, why should they be?) i am painfully aware of the plank in my own, or have already removed the plank and don't want it to come back.
*odd realization*
Lord, in being by myself so much, I spent most of my life with You really.
you tend to emulate those you're around the most.
yet i suppose it just rubs me the wrong way when people aren't like You...
partly because You're what i'm used to.
so i suppose that's why i dislike arrogance, boasting and such to such an extent...?
but of course, in my oxymoronic mind, while it bothers me when people are arrogant and whatnot, i also just don't notice faults. i do and i don't.
difficult to explain, so i'll leave it as a paradox.
so if people don't like the core of my standards...
sorry, i'm used to hangin' out with God.
and myself, i suppose...
ha, once a few guys at camp, last year i think, said 'Lindsay, is there anyone that you could possibly not get along with? is it really possible to not like you?'
...i don't know?
but i suppose i'm quite myself at camp...
and i hope i can be myself this summer...
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