'not. at. all.'

...


*grumbles*


ah well.
had a nice day of judging at the forensics tournament, saw some old friends, a couple that graduated with me last year that i hadn't seen since graduation and then some still in high school...
odd how you can pick up and talk to kids you haven't seen since graduation, suppose it depends on the kid. this one was my male counterpart for the 'outstanding senior girl' award and his parents told my parents that they were more excited for me than him! haha, suppose he had gotten his share of awards...
and it was nice to see friend still in HS, i was attacked by several peeps that are now sophomores and then a sprinkling of juniors and seniors.
got to talk to my jello-farmer friend, the one that i kinda scared with my... blunt honesty about my situation?
he's a good kid, he'll turn out alright but sometimes i just want to kick his brain into gear and say '_______, you don't need a girl! shape up and fly solo, stop being love-struck.' ah well, he's still a good kid. 
and jello-man and i decided that for my sake he will hate the redwings (what's his face's favorite team) until they actually start playing in a game, then he'll cheer for them, the game will end, and he will go back to hating them.
then of course he told me 'no more'
well that's easier said than done.
but at anyrate.


then in going to a family friend's house to meet my minions and another family, while waiting for the minions the guy from the other family said 'well whatever happened to alfred er whatever his name was?'
and mom said 'that's in the past'
and they said somethign about ex's and i mentioned that he's going out with another of his ex's... and the guy said 'wow, you're too smart for that. way too smart. guess she isn't, but you are, aren't you?'
yes, yes i am.


then my minions' family came... nice evening, i was just tired...
we came up with the first part of a secret handshake involving turkeys...
and afterwards we sat at the other person's house and talked.
when talking about their son's recent wedding, mom said that my rehearsal dinner would be at that mexican restaraount we had eaten at because it's cheap.
with that brought up, guess what we talked about for the next half hour.


*sigh*


ah well.
my minions never really did approve of him, i had thought they might... but i believe their explaination of not approving.
he just wasn't good enough in part.
and i really didn't like how he treated my minions...
at all.
albeit they were kind of... protective of me and susprcious of him.
he doesn't seem that great with kids.
at anyrate.
apparently no one really cared for him that much.
gee thanks for saying this all when i was in the room.
it was pretty much agreed they thought i was better and needed higher standards, but mom was fueling most of that talk, and the minions' dad.
and then mom saying 'well she tried the dating thing and that failed so now i'm thinking she's doing the courthship route of only starting a relationship when you're ready to get married.'


...


when did i say this?


never.


...okay then mom, believe as you will...


at anyrate, the conversation kept getting more and more uncomfortable for me...
my minions knew it...
the minions' mom knew it...
they were quiet, looked like they felt akward...
and the rest just kept going...
and i just sat there, making occasional comments indicating a ceasefire.


my friend cassie never quite approved.
i can read people fairly well i thought, better than her most of the time,
but she kind of saw it all coming, and was worried to begin with.
she found out on facebook and was livid, had to restrain herself from talking to him..
and my track-athelete friend said 'someone's dead meat!'


and of course, somehow the entire female population of the music department hates his guts.
nice to be loved...?
they didn't like him to being with, suppose i just and friends with everyone and tolerate people too much sometimes.


HAHA, oh dear...
talking to a good friend...
without ever telling her he said he was more mature in relationships,
she said 'he's immature. he's not mature in relationships. not. at. all.'
i agree whole-heartedly.
and she's not the first to say that.
'orphans' not 'orphan'... mistitled...



orphans...
one day i will win...


please, PLEASE catch the metaphor in winning...
the guy that broke up with me never did get it, he assumed my personality to death.
so much meaning in that,
he thought i meant it literally...
no indeed...


am i really that complex a person?
no...
just so much to know and understand i suppose...
small wonder he went back to the familiar, the higher dosage for the drug addict.




"I called Jesus but he heard I hurt his little girl, yeah,
with my reckless stare, I've been so unfair
Misplacing my affections"