synonomous

it's easy to see how people are drawn to Marvel characters, i.e. spider-man and captain america.
weak, pushed around, but good people.
i quite like how they re-formed Captain America in the new movie; the original from 1941 lacked a character. sure Rogers was a weak kid that wasn't accepted into the army, but in the original comic that's all we knew.
a few pages in we're at a lab where we get our first glance at evans.
Timely Comics did give us an admirable hero during WWII, but i'm thankful Marvel gave us more story behind Spider-man.
...however the original Timely writing reminds me of early Iron-Man and they're 20 years apart!


i love what marvel has done to the story, the reasons, the explanations...
i suppose that Spider-man and Captain America would be my favorite, i love Spider-man in the comics and in the movie you can't beat Steve's character.


...


I just realized that even with the limited Captain America experience i've had that i somehow knew what his character would be like.
then again, when one's character is so like your own you tend to see that.


i find it interesting how super-heroes find the desire to do good in all of us.
however is it wanting to do good for your own selfish gain?
or is it just...
ingrained into your system that some people need help and protected?
in many marvel comics you see how some people start wanting to help but they just want fame and turn sour.
then there are people...
like me...
that when they feel the most pain the wish that they could take the pain of others; just let the pain be heaped on them and take it for everyone.
...but that's not possible.
and aside from that, everyone needs to learn from their own pain. if one person took the pain of everyone the degree of life in any would be lessened.


i suppose i love comics because you can see all of the aspects of humanity played out to its extremes.
you see characters struggle with their own human nature.
and even though they're fighting to save lives including their own you can understand the battle.


i find this whole 'desire to do good' thing intriguing.
in thinking of all the people that i've observed and met throughout the years, it seems that a true unmarred desire can be marred much to often.
when a teenage girl helps a child are they doing it to help or is it the motherly instinct or an infatuation with the cuteness of the kid?
i've seen instances where i'd argue the last two options.
(yet i never know what's going on inside...)
do some people want to be pastors because God instilled in them the wish to help others understand, or to stand up in front of people and talk about their own ideas about God? to hear people say how great their sermon was or to learn more about God themselves and help others along the way?
i've met pastors where selfish motives fuel them... but i won't get into that mess, that was years ago.
when we see super-hero movies where people put their lives in danger for others, where the drive to protect fuels them...
do we wish that we could fly through the air?
do we wish we were that strong?
do we wish we were given awards and honor?
do we wish that we could save people?


...or are we simply wistfully looking at a person we could never be?
that we know our own faults and know we're not capable of it?
not capable of the mindset that drives them?


super-heroes have their own faults...


their own motives may not be pure.


...Ayn Rand thinks that the only pure motive is selfishness.
promoting your own right to happiness and caring for yourself.
in many cases of her ideology this includes relationships between people; Howard wasn't wrong to rape Dominique; he was within his rights.
...of course, then they go on to have a long drawn out love affair.


...i would say that the only pure motive is being true to yourself.
for me at least.
then again, just because you motive is pure does not mean that your action is. 
(i.e. Howard Roark. the action was true to his character and ideology but in my eyes it still wasn't right.) 
God made me in such a way that as long as i'm true to how He made me that whatever i do with the purest of motives is directly linked to my character at the core.


but because being true to who you are appears to be the purest motive to me, does that mean the people that preach to be heard and those that help others to make themselves look better have motives that aren't pure?


are they being true to themselves?


if they are, then by my personal standards that's a pure motive.
yet somehow i find it not right.


at that i wonder...


then again as i said; just because the motive is pure does not mean the action is.
and i suppose i should explain my meaning of pure.


...eventually.


and of course just because one thing applies to one person does not mean it applies to others.
if a person's response to something is running away, then is it bad that he does that instead of standing tall and protecting?


...this is where we see the core of one human differ from another.


one scene in the movie yesterday struck me; when the person in charge of training throws a dud grenade into the middle of the trainees and he tells them all to run away.
they do.
steve doesn't.
he throws himself on top of it.
trying to take the pain so others don't have to.
the core of steve rogers was different.


i have said i would take all the pain so other wouldn't have to; seeing a demonstration on screen of that by way of taking physical pain or death made me wonder if i would ever feel the same with physical pain.
then again there have been situations where i'm the strong one that others rely on...


ha, i recall the first date i ever went on.
it was with jerkface, of course.
(and yes. yes it does go against my character to call someone that. i think.
*thinks*
yes. yes it does. dangit...)
and he said that he'd always wanted the cliche someone hops out and he has to try to protect me kind of thing to happen.


well.


as i mentioned then...
i would fight back aswell.
and i feel compelled to protect people.


would i if push came to shove?
i'm not sure.


it's like that SWAT team person said my freshman year of high school in health class.
he singled me out.
because while the rest of the class had helpless gazelle type looks...
that i looked like i'd fight back.


hmm.


i've always wondered at that.
would i?
could i?
then again, logic would say that if it was just me and there was an opportunity, then i'd run. 
why fight if i can leave?
but if someone else was there...
well, they would need me.


Lord, You created me weird.


but this isn't the marvel universe.
...so i'd probably be knocked out or bleed to death if anything happened.
okay no, the person would have a lot of bruises and gashes to go with it.
...and then i'd be knocked out.






EDIT:

great scot, that whole last post and i forgot the most crucial part:


to know weakness is to know strength.


that's something Steve Rogers knew.


you cannot have true strength without knowledge of weakness...


in my eyes, leastways.


i found that theme to resonate quite a bit within me.