i feel as if i'm becoming monotone...?

i'm 20.
turned that ten minutes ago, 12:13am.


another year older and not a teenager...
whatever that entails.


i've grown so much in the past four years, five years really...
i don't think that many people realize what a new person i am.
i've lived for 20 years; been an 'old soul' and seen straight through people and cut through lies that were said about me from a very young age.
...but i never lived outwardly.
in my own company i am free to do whatever, i'll just laugh and say 'did You see that Lord!?! so crazy!' when i do something awkward or silly... You hear me out and don't assume, You just know...


i was close to really trusting one person but then he ruined it for everyone.
okay, maybe not everyone, but for him.
and i'm also to blame.


*random
assumption is the most dangerous thing in the human race it seems.
uncertainty is also dangerous, but at least it's cautious and requires fact.
all assumption requires is an impression or two with no regard to what's underneath.
one phrase from an introvert could mean so much, get the context.
what's the person like, what else do they think, etc...




while i'm on a birthday spree, here's what my mom and grandma posted about me:
Today is my last day to be the mother of a teenager. :`( My daughter has turned out even better than I could have ever hoped and prayed for. It has been an honor and blessing to be her mother and I thank God for her. She is a beautiful, talented, and independent woman of God and I am proud of her. Lindsay, enjoy your last day as a teenager!


...apparently there are a few people that would describe me as a 'woman of God'
'woman'
...
how weird is that...
just yesterday i was 16 and trying to straighten my thoughts out on this blog.
now i'm a 'woman'
...?
?!?!?!


and my grandma:
Today is my granddaughter, Lindsay's last day as a teenager. Tomorrow she will have the only BD she will ever have on 9-10-11. She will turn 20 tomorrow. I'm so proud of her, she is beautiful, smart and Jesus is her savior. She puts GOD #1 in her life. What more could you ask of a granddaughter. ♥♥♥♥♥


i think that it's important for anyone that even barely knows me to have the knowledge that while i may be alone, i may feel lonely, i may feel that people forget my existence and never think to ask me to hang out...
i am loved, i know.


suppose i should go to sleep, now that i'm an ancient adult and...


not a teenager?


great scot, life, what have you gotten me into and where are you taking me...