i have saturated these past few days with the two books following Anne of Green Gables.
now that i have finished them, the latter one in less than a day, i feel out of place. seems to me that i should be in Avonlea or Redmond, traipsing through the countryside daydreaming to my heart's content.
...and now i feel quite out of place.
have i mentioned at least one hundred times how badly i need a garden?
ha, the current program director would say 'you do not need a garden, you would like to have a garden, you think it would be nice to have a garden. we need to take 'need' out of your vocabulary, girl!'
or such was her response when i said art camp needed sketch pads. or water bottles. or just saying the word 'need' in passing.
side fairly related tangent; it vexes me greatly when people think that i am upset and i am not. that i'm all worked up, that i'm angry, ticked...
and i'm not.
then i get ticked.
'don't freakin tell me to calm down, i was jack johnson-placid and then you talked to me in that condescending manner...'
not that i say that, indeed i wonder if i could ever say something like that out loud.
pet peeve i suppose.
back to anne...
'"I hope no great sorrow ever will come to you, Anne," said Gilbert, who could not connect the idea of sorrow with the vivid, joyous creature beside him, unwitting that those who can soar to the highest heights can also plunge to the deepest depths, and that the nature which enjoy most keenly are those which also suffer most sharply.'
i know that i have rambled of there really not being any new thought before...
it's oddly comforting to read something written one hundred years ago that understands.
"I'm sure no life can be properly developed and rounded without some trial and sorrow -though i suppose it is only when we are pretty comfortable that we admit it."
well Anne, i think in that last point we disagree...
no matter how uncomfortable it is i always know that it will make me better.
while stealing away to Avonlea and Green Gables with Anne was wonderful and much needed, my ravenous methods of book reading devoured my family time here at my grandparents house.
two of my cousins on this side are here, and i don't get to see my oldest cousin and his wife often so that's wonderful... they just moved not to far from my university and my cousin has a big-screen tv and a subscription to NHL center-ice; i think i shall have to make numerous paper air-planes and we can pester each other with them while watching a game. antagonizing the cat between periods, of course.
he would have made a nice big brother, it's fun to be bugged in that manner. ha, i remember years ago when we would play blues clues together.
on a side note, saw joplin today... i'm quite familiar with joplin and seeing so much of it, the familiar parts, the houses i used to love to look at, the shops i used to go to, seeing them gone was quite uncanny in the least.
and then coming back from town (watched 'mr. popper's penguins') i escaped to avonlea... but the characters were grown up, many people died, i heard my grandmother shocked at the news that another friend's husband had died, the same news she received from another friend two days before.
perhaps this intrusion and connection to 'real' life is what pulled me into the tale so. then again, anne's more 'silent dreaming,' as i have rambled on before, may have drawn me in.
i wonder what i would have dreamed of had i more time outside, real outside...
i remember on babysitter's house; old barn with woods behind. small stream going through the wood... i sat with my back against a tree one day and just listened to the water.
dreaming that i was born of the forest and could live there forever.
i may not have had the imagination of anne, but 'kindred spirits' is quite close; even if her mannerisms, goals in life, and nature of many dreams is more perfectly in line with my good friend that is my pastor's daughter.
indeed, right down to her red hair she is just like anne...
perhaps this is why we are such good friends.
haha, the boys do chase after her in college i hear. she was surprised they do not chase after me; yet in all reality it would not be me to be chased i think. no one notices wallflowers.
well, one person did, he destroyed it.
unpleasant character.
now i just want a garden...
it is raining right now, what i wouldn't give to be out there in it...
thunder, lightening...
great scot, is it so late already?
nearly 2am...
and now to rest...
No comments:
Post a Comment