and just like that winter weather returns to the prairie. well, if you can really call this part of kansas a prairie. at any rate, thursday it felt so wonderful i almost went jogging (pity i didn't...) and the day after was absolutely freezing, as was today...
with the winter weather, feeling of spring was chased away. it appeared like we are in for quite the week of winter, so i changed the layout again...
before what i was really going to ramble on about, here's a special boring topic that i need to get out:
yesterday i was thinking about my schedule for next school year... and i began realizing things that i had known yet didn't really hit home. i will be a senior. and it will be my last year in high school. that is this fall. THIS fall. what happened to everyone saying "oh, you have plenty of time to figure out what college you are going to" and "don't worry about what career you will have" and "you have plenty of time"
well...
i kinda don't have plenty of time. it seems like just yesterday i was being told such things.
and the... WHOAH.
next year... i will be in college. not the whole high school/college credit think i'm doing now... i will be in college.
wow.
anyhow...
the whole college thing isn't as hard to comprehend as the fact that this september i will be turning... eighteen. i like seventeen. it sounds nice. college is comfortably far off, and you can search for colleges and careers without panic.
not that i will panic...
yet.
i would not mind going to college without a major or career decided, i would mind however, going to college without a college decided.
/end i have no idea what i'm doing ramble
aside from that...
back to the age thing.
ever just look around one day and wonder where your life went? i'm only seventeen, however i still find it odd that one day you're making elevators out of cardboard boxes with a girl from next door, the next you're in your basement singing into a porcelain-dolphin 'microphone' with a tennis racket guitar, the next you're playing pioneers with bicycle horses, then you're beginning high school... and then a few minutes after you began, you find yourself here thinking about your life for a longer amount of time than it feels like our life took.
and thinking of how you managed to chip that 'microphone' that your mom was so proud of.
people say that in heaven this life wil seem like it passed in the blink of an eye... to me it seems that all things past go in the blink of an eye. things can feel like they took forever yet in retrospect it still seems like it was over all too fast.
however i am convinced that somehow, when you are in a math class room or when a chemistry assignment is especially boring, time virtually stops for those inside. how else could i manage to concentrate for what seems like an hour, just to look up and realize that only five minutes have passed?
isn't it annoying how you remember the bad things in life? like when you didn't get as good of a grade as you hoped on that test, or seeing your bone while you were being stitched up (okay, that isn't bad... that is more memorable that other, better times.) or the time you got so fed up with yourself that when the college algebra assignment was due after you'd been frantically working on it, and since you couldn't finish you wrote "i'm sorry i'm stupid" on problem 39? (not that i have ever done that or anything... umm... yeah... that was pretty lame. and a pretty bad day. nothing i did went right.) pity that the good things can't be remmebered... for all of my life, whenever i have a good day or something good happens, i try to remember it... as in consciously attempt to store it in my head. sounds somewhat foolish, yet to an eight year old who was scared of growing up, it was somewhat comforting.
speaking of math... i really do not enjoy working on problems about working theories of how to get a certain figure that represents a qunatity of none exhistant matter from other figures representin other things that do not exist... aside from that, mathematics truly is amazing. ah.maze.ing. where else can figures work together so well, weaving in and out of each other forming the most theorhetical and well-built structure. it's astounding how well it all works together.
it just takes me forever to comprehend it.
probably because first i try to understand the reason for it.
and...
there is none, it just is. my mind does not like that unfortunatly...
at least in chemistry the numbers have a reason...
i digress...
where do you use that term? before or after the act of digressing?
i apologize for the rather scattered nature of this post... i was rather scattered when i wrote it...
at any rate... i wonder why you can know something without realizing it...
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