you know, days like today have always been my favorite.

granted, the green jewel tones of the saturated green grass are not blazing forth in saturated glory, making the grayscale world seem bright and hopeful...

but it feels cool, mellow, alive.

coffee for the mind indeed, haha, many random old memories behind that phrase.

and i enjoy it quite a bit despite my fried mind.

even yesterday when my brain took a turn for the irrational as the pressure of my best never being enough took hold... walking out and feeling the air calmed me.

sometimes i just need someone to shove me outside.

ha, walking along i remembered a day like today last year, i saw the tree i leaned against as i read Anne of Green Gables.
clear mind, blog only for ramblesome thoughts and not frustrated steam, i didn't have feelings for anyone and the good guy friend i had was just a friend that i would never dream of liking, he was just the only one interested enough in what i thought to ask about it.
that was a good day, red leaves, swishing trees and a warm mocha.

today i'm just tired...
perhaps a nap would do me some good, a nap and then buckling down to finish that photoshop project.
and having good posture if i plan on practicing piano for an hour again. that would help greatly.

ha, and Lord...
i'd like to shift this back fro me needing to deconstruct every thought to only when i have certain things to say?
maybe at some point, yes?

ha, and venting about that... well, some things i shouldn't mention at all, even when i need to. if he still reads this i'll let him be oblivious and will not deconstruct here when people that are that are in certain circles... yeah.

i vote...
nap time.

perhaps i shall have more ridiculous Monty Python dreams, huzzah!

*random
i think one day i need to start a second blog and export the blogs that aren't too crazy and hurting or saying what i shouldn't there.
(EDIT, that my friend is what this is. it needed to be done.)
hmm.
or just hide those here?
perhaps.
needless to say, not everyone needs to see my convulsing and outbursts, which is why it's been quite a while since i've shared this URL.
no one needs to see or read that.
then again, i wouldn't advertise this blog anyhow, i don't like imposing my thought on others i suppose...?
naptime.
now.
then photoshop.

no, photoshop, then nap.
maybe.
we shall see.
or piano...
or theory!
hmmm...