...confidence discovered in the eyes of others.

...i sang in voice studio today, not going to lie, i wanted to but i wasn't going to stand up and say i did...
ha, i muttered to myself that i hadn't sang in studio yet, my voice teacher heard me, then other people told me to sing...
so i did, faltered in a couple of places...
but i love surprising people with my voice... (!)
no one save my voice teacher had heard me really sing, so it was nice to see everyone smile, ha, and a few people really smiled on my high notes.
as a friend said 'contralto my rear-end!'
well, i can go very low...
doesn't mean i can't also go higher than most altos!
lower than most and higher than most, i'm okay with that, just transition i need to work on!

i think it was good for me to do that, afterwards when it was over i was kinda shy, ha, and when the accompanist grabbed me  right after because it was so good and i've made such an improvement... i think that's good...

hey Lord, have i thanked you for singing at least a dozen times today?

and i do need to work on receiving compliments...

*random
in other news, almost had my dancing/painting/living ridiculously zone worked up and then someone walked in on me, that kinda makes you jump, deer in headlights, and then i think i laughed.
the guy just said hello, so the world did not end.

...see lindsay? people won't judge you.
i think.


*random
you know, in that last post especially i think of all there is to me and how many people miss it, don't even know its there...
quite remarkable...
no one sees my spirit dancing in a street with lit trees and lamp posts, a wreath on each post, snow coming down and i'm spinning with my face turned toward the sky...

no, no, no one sees that at all.

then again, others could be like that...

i just don't know them, i suppose.

but i never show myself to people that don't seek it, no one seeks, then i'm a closed book.
ish, haha, i do have my moments i suppose.


You've created an odd creature, Lord.

ha, even my parents wonder where the heck i came from...

well, You.

I trusted myself to You so long ago...

and that explains it all.