hello, hola, all that jazz. (i never have been able to decide on a salutation. i mostly end up throwing 'yo' and 'hola' together, i never use yo, however i thought 'yola' had an interesting sound to it.) so, yola!i am lindsay, and this is my blog. while that may be obvious enough, i thought that i may as well troduce myself to any that bother reading whatever my mind comes up with. i play the bass guitar in church and jazz band, i can play the bass guitar, kazoo, and jingle bells all at once, and i am a junior in high school. my school is across the road from a cow field and next to a soy bean or corn field. (it depends on the year... this year was corn i believe... oh yes, it was corn, during band camp someone stole an ear of corn and put it on the band director's desk...) i love being from kansas, i have no idea why, it just seems like the underdog state to me. no one especially likes kansas, and if the wizard of oz wasn't so popular then many would probably forget it's existance. the weather here, however, is lovely. or at least i think so. we may be in tornado ally, yet in northeastern kansas we seem to produce the tornados, not be the recepiant of a touchdown that makes the tornado team one, kansas nothing. (ha, that was lame. another thing about me: i amuse myself, and occasionally do not care whether what amuses me amuses others.) the weather here is nice if you appreciate all sorts of weather within the course of a week, from wonderful moist days, to ice that is horrific to drive on, yet creates wonderful photos. this brings me to another point: whether i am good or not isn't for me to decide, yet i like photography. sharing a perspective on how i see things is a great form of art.
wow.
am i rambling or what?
perhaps i should stick to a main idea if i cannot stick to one point.
let us begin again.
hello. i am lindsay. i am not beginning a blog because i believe that i have thoughts that will change the course of mankind, are wildly profound, or are significant in any way. no, i am beginning a blog because maybe, just maybe, throwing out my thoughts for even a few people of the world to see will somehow... what. where am i going with this? perhaps i hope to gain what even my college chem teacher says i lack: confidence. quite the elusive quality. yet typing myself up and posting me on a blog will not improve this, yet i think it may help a bit. or maybe i'm just crazy.
yes, perhaps that last statement.
at any rate, to continue about myself (wow, i really don't like talking about myself... or at least i hope that i don't.) one thing that must be remembered when reading anythng: my past is not tragic, i do not come from a 'broken' family, yet for whatever reason that is too long to explain here while i have been living, breathing, and in a sane (well, alright, i can be insane from time to time, yet who isn't?) mind for all of my 17 years, i have really only been living since june of 2007. long story. basically, the music of Swithcfoot and Anberlin woke me up. i've had an avalanche of growing into who God created me to be since then. another thing about me: i am a firm believer that God sent His Son to die for me so that i may live through Him. and that, i believe, is the only way to get to heaven. that is my belief and if you do not agree, then that is fine, you are not me, and i will in no way force it down your throat.
another thing.
i struggle with perfection. for most of my life, i was thrown in the corner as the 'smart kid' and i didn't have any friends, i buried myself in books, and was so deep that i couldn't see the light of... well, anything. i had heard comments about being stupid, and worthless, from... well, everyone save the teachers. even my parents.
once someone hears something for that long of time... you believe it.
after waking up, i realized that it didn't have to be that way. however, depite my progress, i now put a LOT of weight on grades. for example, i got a B in a weighted course that's for college AND high school credit, and this really upset me. and when i get a bad grade i tend to literally feel sick. not cool. ah well. i'm working on it... basically, i am unconsciously seeking perfection when i know it is not possible.
well... i'm probably boring you half to death. this first post, blog, typing, whatever, really only serves a purpose in helping other understand my point of view...
anyhow...
i do not promise you that you will not waste your time reading my thoughts, or that you will like them more than anything you have ever read... they are, in fact, random. hence the title. (and no, for any that wonder, it is not named after Stephen Christian's book the Orphaned Anything's. before i had even heard the title of that book i had a photo album in facebook named this. although that is a really good book...)
this is, what happens when the ellipsis that are tacked onto sentences or thoughts unfinished, are ellaborated upon.
just like those ellipsis, they may be worthwhile, and they may be senseless.
regardless, they want out.
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